Intelligent answers for difficult questions!

Q.How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!

Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all it is already built.

Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
A. Very large hands.(Good one)

Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. No Probs, He sleeps at night.

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.

Q. What looks like half apple?
A : The other half.

Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A : Dinner.

Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
A : It caused a revolution.

Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
A : Liquid

Sometimes just thinking out of the box is what it takes!

The Reality

An Old Story:

The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
building its house
and
laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs &
dances & plays the
summer away.

Come winter, the Ant is warm and well fed. The Grasshopper
has no food
or
shelter so he dies out in the cold.


Indian Version:


The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer
building its house
and
laying up supplies for the winter.

The Grasshopper thinks the Ant's a fool and laughs
& dances & plays the
summer away.

Come winter, the shivering Grasshopper calls a press
conference and
demands to know why the Ant should be allowed to be warm
and well fed
while others are cold and starving.
NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering
Grasshopper
next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled
with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be
that this
poor
Grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the
Ant's house.

Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other Grasshoppers
demanding that
Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter
.
Mayawati states this as `injustice' done on Minorities.


Amnesty International and Koffi Annan criticize the Indian
Government
for
not upholding the fundamental rights of the Grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking
support to the
Grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace
for prompt
support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance).

Opposition MPs stage a walkout. Left parties call for '
Bengal Bandh' in
West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Enquiry.
CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from
working hard
in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among
Ants and
Grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all
Indian
Railway
Trains, aptly named as the 'Grasshopper Rath'.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the ' Prevention
of Terrorism
Against Grasshoppers Act' [POTAGA], with effect from
the beginning of
the
winter.

Arjun Singh makes 'Special Reservation ' for
Grasshoppers in Educational
Institutions & in Government Services.


The Ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and
having nothing
left
to pay his retroactive taxes,it's home is confiscated
by the Government
and handed over to the Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by
NDTV.



Arundhati Roy calls it ' A Triumph of Justice'.

Lalu calls it 'Socialistic Justice '.

CPM calls it the ' Revolutionary Resurgence of the
Downtrodden '

Koffi Annan invites the Grasshopper to address the UN
General Assembly.




Many years later...





The Ant has since migrated to the US and set up a
multi-billion dollar
company in Silicon Valley,


100s of Grasshoppers still die of starvation despite
reservation
somewhere
in India ,


.
..AND




As a result of loosing lot of hard working Ants and feeding
the
grasshoppers,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
India is still a developing country...!!!

Suicide

A Gujrati, a Madrasi and a sardaar were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.


They were having lunch and Gujju said, “Dhokla! If I get dhokla one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”



The Madrasi opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Idli Sambhar again! If I get idli sambhar one more time I’m going to jump off too.”



The sardaar opened his lunch and said, “Parontha again! If I get a parontha one more time, I’m jumping too.”



The next day, the Gujju opened his lunch box, saw dhokla, and jumped to his death.

The Madrasi opened his lunch, saw idli sambhar, and jumped, too.

The sardaar opened his lunch, saw the parontha and jumped to his death as well.



At the funeral, Gujju’s wife was weeping. She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of dhokla, I never would have given it to him again!”

The Madrasi’s wife also wept and said, “I could have given him dossa! I didn’t realize he hated idli sambhar so much.”

Everyone turned and stared at the sardaar’s wife.

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The sardaar’s wife said,

“Don’t look at me. He makes his own lunch.”

Microsoft looking for New Chairman!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is Arun an Indian (Mumbai) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave.

2000 people leave the room. Arun says to himself ' I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay. What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I left school at 15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Arun says to himself, 'I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.

Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language.'

Calmly, Arun turns to the other candidate and says 'Kaisa hai re tu'

The other candidate answers 'Accha hai re'

Why Bill Gates might Sell OFF Microsoft

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Banta had recently purchased a new computer with Microsoft Windows as the O/S and was unhappy with the same and writes a letter to Bill Gates, regarding the same.

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

4. My child has learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer' when you will provide the remaining items?

6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that

7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.

Last one to Mr. Bill Gates: Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?

Regards,
Banta

Obeying Traffic Rules?

As per new rule in Chennai...

No Helmet required for those who are sitting behind!!!!!!!

Just see how they obey the order!

A different interview!!!

HOW TO RECRUIT THE center PERSON FOR THE JOB?

.

.

.

.

Put about 100 bricks in some

Particular order in a closed

Room with an

Open window.

.

.

.

.

.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in

The room and close the door.

.

.

.

.

Leave them alone and come back

After 6 hours and then analyze

The situation.

.

.

.

.

If they are counting the

Bricks.

Put them in the accounts

Department.

.

.

.

.

If they are recounting them..

Put them in auditing .

.

..

..

.

.

If they have messed up the

Whole place with the bricks.

Put them in engineering.

.

.

.

.

If they are arranging the

Bricks in some strange order.

Put them in planning.

.

.

.

.

If they are throwing the

Bricks at each other.

Put them in operations ..

.

.

.

.

.

If they are sleeping.

Put them in security.

.

.

.

.

.

.

If they have broken the bricks

Into pieces.

Put them in information

Technology.

.

.

.

.

If they are sitting idle.

Put them in human resources.

.

.

.

.

If they say they have tried

Different combinations, yet

Not a brick has

Been moved. Put them in sales.

.

.

.

.

If they have already left for

The day.

Put them in marketing.

.

.

.

.

If they are staring out of the

Window.

Put them on strategic

Planning.

.

.

.

.

And then last but not least.

If they are talking to each

Other and not a single brick

Has been

Moved.

.

Congratulate them and put them

In top management.

The problems with GIRLS::

The problems with GIRLS::

If u TREAT her nicely, she says u are IN LOVE with
her;

If u Don't, she says u are FROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, she says u are trying to LURE
her;

If u Don't, she says u are from CHENNAI.

If u ARGUE with her, she says u are STUBBORN;

If u keep QUIET,! she says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than her, she'll lose FACE;

If she's Smarter than u, she is GREAT.

If u don't Love her, she tries to POSSESS u;

If u Love her, she will try to LEAVE u.(very true
huh?)

If u tell her your PROBLEM, she says u are
TROUBLESOME;

If u don't, she says that u don't TRUST her.

If u SCOLD her, u are like a CHACHA to her;

If she SCOLDS u, it is because she CARES for u.

If u BREAK you! ! r PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;

If she BREAKS hers, she is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD BOY;

If she SMOKES, she is a GENTLELADY.

If u do WELL in your exams, she says it's LUCK;

If she does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT her, u are CRUEL;

If she HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!


& sooo hard to please!!!!!


If u send this to girls, they will swear that it's
not
true....... but if u don't, they say u are
selfish.....

Changed Times
15 years ago….

A program was a television show

An application was.... for employment

Windows were something you hated to clean

A keyboard was.... a piano

Memory was.... something you lost with age

A CD was... a bank account

If you unzipped in public you went to jail

Compress was something you did to garbage

A hard drive was a long trip on the road

Log on was adding wood to a fire

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

Cut you did with scissors

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spiders home

And a virus was the flu!!!

SURE TIMES HAVE CHANGED!